Heidi Krantz - Professional Life Coach and Speaker

Reinvention Life Coaching

Building Confidence

Your 2017 Dating Success Recipe

by

I am asked for an exact formula and recipe for dating success by many individual coaching clients, workshop participants, and media interviewers. Although I have powerful guidelines to share that have helped many bring the love into their lives that they desire, I must first answer your question with a question. How happy are you with your current situation? If your answer is a very positive one, then you’ve got this, rinse and repeat. If your answer reflects that you are seeking different results, then let’s keep this in mind for starters: “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re gonna get what you’ve always gotten.” So, we need to change how we’ve been approaching our love life if we want to generate more desirable effects.

Now that we’re clear about the desire to change things up by transforming what we have done before, we can move on to determining the specifics. Here’s the bottom line, each of us needs to figure out what it is that we need to work on, ie what patterns, default behaviors, thoughts, and energy we need to transform. For example, I am often asked by women, “Should I text the guy after the date or wait for him to contact me?” The response to this question requires introspection on your part. If your pattern is typically to text immediately with effusive thank yous and compliments, then your work might be to hold off until the next day or until he contacts you. In this way, you are working to transform the energy that you are conveying, which is often more important than the exact timing of the text. So now your energy is becoming more confident and independent as opposed to overeager. If your pattern is to be “stand-offish” and the guy may not know that you’re interested, then your work might be to send a quick text that reflects some warmth. Now your energy is becoming more open to connection and intimacy rather than disinterest.

So, secret revealed. There is a completely different recipe for how each of us can improve our dating success. We need to tune into our inner wisdom, be honest with ourselves and identify those patterns. When we are each conscious of the individual personal growth that is required for our unique journey, we can change what we’ve always done, so we don’t get what we’ve always gotten, when what we really want is a completely different result. What step will you take towards transforming your patterns today?

Contact Coach Heidi at https://reinventionlifecoaching.com/ for a complimentary consultation to begin creating an individualized plan to transform your specific patterns that are getting in the way of the love that you desire in your life.

Getting Comfortable Not Knowing

by

While engaged in conversation, we appropriately ask questions, and then we listen to the answers. The key issue is, when we listen, do we already have a predetermined hypothesis as to what the answer will be? Have we already formulated a guess, an assumption, or a judgement as to the reply that will come our way? As a result, have we prematurely tuned out of the listening process?

One of the most powerful lessons that experience has taught me in coaching my clients is that when I ask questions, I strive to consciously clear my mind of any expectation about what the answer might be. I have learned repeatedly, that in doing so, I consistently hear answers that I would not have imagined on my own. If I had predicted the answers, I would have clouded my understanding of what the client was trying to explain. As a result of my expectations not being injected, clients express themselves more freely, accurately, and effectively and this type of communication is extremely empowering to them.

The same is true in all of our day to day conversations, professionally and personally. Whether we are conversing with a brand new acquaintance or a long term friend, when we give the gift of that open space for listening to whatever the answer may be, we in turn give ourselves the gift of learning more than we ever could have if we had allowed our own expectations and forecasts to cloud the process.

If you  try consciously injecting this method into your discussions, you are likely to find more engaged clients, more interested social contacts, and much newer, fresher, and richer information than would have been possible before. So begin learning and mastering this technique today, and watch your rapport and connection deepen and expand in a satisfying and transformative way.

Contact Heidi at Reinvention Life Coaching for one to one coaching to expand upon this and other communication skills or for a customized presentation for your group, board, or organization.

DATING SUCCESS: CREATE A SPLASH

by

Why do we dip our big toe in the cold pool and then quickly withdraw our foot, taking a few steps back? Why do we repeat the same strange dance a few moments later? Will that method really get us used to the water so that we can swim, enjoy, and feel refreshed? Can we ever create a real splash using this “dip the toe” method? More importantly, how familiar does this pattern feel to you and where else is it showing up in your life?

Many of my dating coaching clients and workshop participants are dipping only their big toe into the pool of dating. Why? One of many possible answers is that if they are putting forth minimal effort, they will feel less rejected if the overture is not reciprocated. After all, they are not really trying, are they?

What does this look like practically? It looks like an internet dating profile that is incomplete, without photos that maximize the person’s attractiveness and without an appealing and accurate description of who the person is. It looks like a dating site member who is not initiating any emails, but rather waiting endlessly for the “right person” to express interest. It looks like someone at a singles event checking his/her phone incessantly and not really participating in the activities.

Do you want to experience dating success? Of course, we all do! Well then, it’s time to begin questioning your method and challenging yourself to modify it despite the hesitant parts of you that urge you to hang back. What would it be like for you to takes steps forward to fully get into the water? Clearly envision yourself making it happen. First, get your feet wet, then immerse yourself one segment at a time, get used to the cold water for a while, and finally start swimming. It’s time to get playful and create a splash! If you don’t generate a dating opportunity, at least you will enjoy a refreshing swim, and you won’t be so afraid of the cold next time. After all, next time may present the opportunity to swim with someone really special who you would never have gotten close to with only your big toe fleetingly touching the shallow end of the pool.

What’s the Impact of Your Smile?

by

When we are waiting in line at the supermarket checkout counter and we see an adorable toddler in a stroller, what do we instinctively do? We smile at the little guy or gal, right? Why? Well, it just happens naturally. What usually occurs next? Our smile becomes an invitation for interaction, and the toddler is now smiling back, holding up his warn out teddy bear for us to admire, and showing off the box of animal crackers that he wangled from his parent. He is beaming right back at us, and we are having such an enjoyable interaction, that we almost forget to put our groceries up on the counter.

Don’t we wish it could be that easy to smile and interact with an adorable adult on the checkout line? Well, actually, it can be. Our smile is simply an invitation for interaction, nothing more. Why do we hesitate to use it? Some of my coaching clients and workshop participants seem to feel that smiling at someone they don’t know is too forward, it makes them uncomfortable, and so it is not in their repertoire whether they are in the supermarket or at a Singles’ Event.

Let’s learn to define a smile differently. A natural smile is not a commitment of any kind, nor is it a declaration of love. It can be offered with no further obligation attached. Yet, it has the enormous power to connect us to others wordlessly. So, let’s make a conscious effort to share our smiles more freely and easily. Just like with the toddler, an interesting and attractive adult will probably return the smile and find a way to further the interaction, showing you the magazine in his hand instead of the ratty teddy bear or the newest organic snack in her cart instead of the animal crackers. You may find yourself so absorbed, that you forget to put your groceries up on the check-out counter. Let me know how it goes…

You’re as Beautiful as You Feel

by

I’m still exhilarated from experiencing “Beautiful,” the Carole King Musical on Broadway yesterday. The incredible score that magically touched my soul is not the only aspect of the performance which is causing me to feel this way. A powerful factor in my excitement is that her story completely brings to life the exact concept that I encourage my coaching clients with every day.

This show brings us Carole’s answer to the empowering question that I often pose to my clients: “What did you feel held back from in your previous relationship that you can now accomplish?”

The amazing musical genius, Carole King, lacked the confidence to write the lyrics and perform the incredible music she composed during the younger part of her life. She depended upon her husband’s talent for lyrics, was blinded by her love and admiration for him, and didn’t expand her self-confidence.

When Carole went through the painful, disappointing, and frightening demise of her marriage, she was vulnerable and weak, wondering how she could possibly endure personally or professionally. Somehow, she intuitively found her inner wisdom and her courage which led her to compose, write the lyrics, and sing for her platinum Grammy winning album, Tapestry, and to make her mark on the world forever as an iconic female rock star.

What did YOU lack the confidence to accomplish during your previous relationship? If you can identify that significant answer, challenge the beliefs that continue to hold you back, and break out of your comfort zone, you too can reach the stars that you were meant to reach. Your voice can be heard whether you sing or not, your talents can be recognized, and your gifts can be appreciated by all those who you share them with. Use the enormous power you possess to make it happen. Then, much like Carole King, you will create a new life that is truly “Beautiful.” How would that feel?

A Gift For You

by

One of the most daunting aspects of dating, for so many of my clients, is that fear of rejection. Makes sense, right? Isn’t that apprehension completely understandable? Does anyone out there like rejection? We human beings seek to avoid it like the plague. So, how do we put ourselves out there in the dating word, and particularly in the internet dating world, where the possibility of rejection lurks forebodingly at every turn?

Here’s a new perspective that many of my clients and workshop participants find highly effective: We acknowledge each hint of rejection early on as a special gift, wrapped up beautifully and neatly with a big magnificent bow on the top, and we picture the “rejecter” (for lack of a better word), handing us a special present.

You see, when he/she gives us the clear idea, early on, that there is not sufficient interest to pursue any sort of relationship, we are being saved from all the effort it takes to actually go out on the date, with our hopes up, and then feel shot down. Yay! We learned early on that we are not a good fit for each other and we are saved from investing emotional energy, time, and effort into a lengthier, losing proposition.

So, don’t ignore the early signs; see them for exactly what they are. For example, on an internet dating site, if he/she cannot move efficiently from the email to the phone to the date, what an amazing gift you just received all wrapped up with a bow! If you’re a woman, you didn’t have to put on heals and mascara to find out that he is not really seeking an actual relationship. If you’re a man, you didn’t have to clean up nice and spend money to have your time wasted. The same is true when the promised phone call doesn’t occur, or the cancelation does occur. Close your eyes and say a little prayer of gratitude that you are walking away with a gift and you are quickly free to pursue something real with someone else.

Now, watch how viewing early signs of rejection as special gifts can empower you to be more courageous and open in your search for the love that you desire. Enjoy all of the exciting and meaningful possibilities that you will likely generate…

Who am I?

by

I was confronted head on with this question, during the months that I developed my new website for Reinvention Life Coaching. There are so many aspects and facets to what I do and who I work with, that it felt daunting to express it all in an accurate and clear manner. Yes, my graphic designer was an expert at his job, but it was up to me, not him, to figure out the exact answer to the question, “Who am I?”

During the weeks and months leading up to my website launch, I grappled with that question every day and often as I tossed and turned at night. I carefully analyzed who I help, how I help them, why my help is effective, and what my positive traits are that successfully drive this entire process. Eventually, I reached a deep clarity that I think has tremendous relevance to my clients. The act of naming my strengths, talents, and what I have to offer the world was in itself, a profound confidence building experience for me.

Naming these positives in my mind was an effective start, but actually writing them in the form of website content that could be absorbed and integrated by the reader, took me to another level of celebrating who I am. Expressing my strengths out loud on video was a further step in solidifying what I know to be true about myself. Now, posting the new site and sharing it with my clients, workshop participants, and the world, is my most dramatic step in saying, “Hey everyone, this is me, this is the company that I have built, I’m so proud of it, and I’m thrilled to share it with you!”

I am profoundly grateful to have been imbued with the traits that I identified during this quest, including the ability to encourage, to connect in an authentic way, to build trust, and to break down any goal into achievable steps. I know that it is my duty and purpose to cultivate and utilize these traits, as they are unique gifts that were given to me, just as some fortunate people have received the gift of musical talent and it is theirs to develop and share with the world to enhance others’ lives.

My website experience totally validated what I’ve been doing with my clients and workshop participants for years. Coaching is a journey of self-discovery and self-esteem building which involves asking the questions that I posed to myself about who I am as well as formulating written lists and learning to articulate our strengths and positive traits. When indicated during coaching, this journey also involves creating an internet dating profile or a social media description which defines our positives and shares them with the world, much as my website does. The process of discovering our gifts is in a sense more important to our confidence than the gifts themselves. This process is always what I strongly believed would empower my clients. Now I have experienced a new journey for myself, so I can fully join you on yours at an even deeper level, and completely share in the excitement of answering the question, “Who am I?”

Divorce and Gratitude

by

How do I dare put those two words in the same title? I dare because they belong together. How so? Divorce can often bring with it enormous pain, difficulty, fear, uncertainty, anger, and sadness. No matter how difficult your process is, or has been, I challenge you to discover exactly what you are grateful for. I’ll take this a step further, what is it that you feel grateful for that directly relates to your difficult divorce?

Are you grateful that you discovered a strength and resiliency that you never knew you had before? Is it your independent spirit that has surfaced which you appreciate? Maybe you are thankful that a pressing tension has been lifted, whether you chose to leave the marriage or not. Perhaps you are grateful that whatever held you back from accomplishing your goals in your past relationship has been removed and you are free now to make them happen. Has your divorce opened you up and made you more comfortable asking those close to you for emotional support? Are you beginning new friendships? Can you now relate to your children in a more open and relaxed manner than previously?

There are countless more divorce related reasons to feel gratitude during Thanksgiving and always. It’s up to you to find them. The negatives may jump out first, so dig past them and choose gratitude.  I learned to do it, and I know you can too.