Heidi Krantz - Professional Life Coach and Speaker

Reinvention Life Coaching

Single Mom Support

You’re as Beautiful as You Feel

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I’m still exhilarated from experiencing “Beautiful,” the Carole King Musical on Broadway yesterday. The incredible score that magically touched my soul is not the only aspect of the performance which is causing me to feel this way. A powerful factor in my excitement is that her story completely brings to life the exact concept that I encourage my coaching clients with every day.

This show brings us Carole’s answer to the empowering question that I often pose to my clients: “What did you feel held back from in your previous relationship that you can now accomplish?”

The amazing musical genius, Carole King, lacked the confidence to write the lyrics and perform the incredible music she composed during the younger part of her life. She depended upon her husband’s talent for lyrics, was blinded by her love and admiration for him, and didn’t expand her self-confidence.

When Carole went through the painful, disappointing, and frightening demise of her marriage, she was vulnerable and weak, wondering how she could possibly endure personally or professionally. Somehow, she intuitively found her inner wisdom and her courage which led her to compose, write the lyrics, and sing for her platinum Grammy winning album, Tapestry, and to make her mark on the world forever as an iconic female rock star.

What did YOU lack the confidence to accomplish during your previous relationship? If you can identify that significant answer, challenge the beliefs that continue to hold you back, and break out of your comfort zone, you too can reach the stars that you were meant to reach. Your voice can be heard whether you sing or not, your talents can be recognized, and your gifts can be appreciated by all those who you share them with. Use the enormous power you possess to make it happen. Then, much like Carole King, you will create a new life that is truly “Beautiful.” How would that feel?

The Parts Of Us That Hold Us Back From…

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Inspired by an incredible recent conference that I attended, “The Internal Family Systems Model,” I’ve been thinking a lot about the parts of each of us that holds us back from whatever it is we really want to achieve. If we allow ourselves to get to know these parts, as the model suggests, in a curious and compassionate way, we may just find our ticket out of the swamp and onto the fast lane of the highway toward our goals.

So, how do we get to know our “parts” and has this Life Coach gone completely mad? The first answer is actually quite simple, and then, you can assess the second one. Here’s the step by step breakdown, when you have privacy and are in a comfortable and private environment:

1. Identify a goal you would like to achieve but are feeling held back from. For example, beginning internet dating.

2. Ask yourself, “What is the part of me that is holding me back?” For example, “My shy part is holding me back.”

3. Begin opening your heart to that part, in this example, your shy part, and get curious about it.

4. Ask the shy part (or whatever part you’re working with) open ended questions as if it were a friend that you were helping with an issue. Examples of questions would be: What is your job? Why do you feel you need to do that job? What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do that job? What do you (my part) need from me? Continue with any other questions that feel right to you. Take your time.

5. Treat whatever answers come up compassionately, without judgment, the way you would treat a vulnerable friend during discussion of his/her issue.

6. Be prepared to discover some surprising and insightful answers from your part. An example of an answer from a shy part might be, “If I didn’t do my job of protecting you, you might face rejection the way you did as a teenager.” Reassure your part that you hear and understand what it’s about.

I hope that you access the courage to take a leap of faith and try this “Internal Family Systems” exercise. If you feel comfortable sharing, I would love to hear from you regarding what you discover as you get to know your parts.

Blogger’s Website: www.reinventionlifecoaching.com one to one coaching, groups, and workshops.

Internal Family Systems Website: www.selfleadership.org