The courage of my clients and workshop participants inspires me so profoundly, that each day, I renew and strengthen my belief that we can do whatever we set our minds to. Individuals whose marriages have ended after 20, 30, and even 40 years turn to coaching because they know that with the extra push and support, they can search for love, intimacy, and companionship again. Whether it was their choice or not to leave the marriage, they are often feeling as though they have been beaten up emotionally; they have suffered feelings of rejection, anger, confusion, fear, and despair. Through it all, as they work tenaciously to heal, they venture bravely out of their comfort zones and into the unknown world of internet dating.
During and post-divorce, gutsy women put on their high heels, even if they can hardly walk in them, get their hair done to perfection, dress in their most flattering outfits, and smile for the camera. To complete their project, they overcome their anxiety and nervousness at any age and face what is most difficult for many of us: Articulating our strengths. There is no way around that when we write a narrative for an internet dating site. It is the advertisement of who we are. The process of expressing what it is that sets us apart from all others is in itself transformative, before we even post it on our profiles.
Being terrified of rejection does not stand in their way; it is a human condition that they work to get past. They know that they will have to develop a tough skin for the lumps and bumps of the dating world. They don’t yet know exactly how absolutely fabulous they are, they are just embarking on a journey to find out. Their courage, spunk, determination, resilience and spectacular qualities are already crystal clear to me. With butterflies in their stomachs, and a little wobble on their heels, they move forward cautiously, with hope and courage in their beautiful hearts.