I am asked for an exact formula and recipe for dating success by many individual coaching clients, workshop participants, and media interviewers. Although I have powerful guidelines to share that have helped many bring the love into their lives that they desire, I must first answer your question with a question. How happy are you with your current situation? If your answer is a very positive one, then you’ve got this, rinse and repeat. If your answer reflects that you are seeking different results, then let’s keep this in mind for starters: “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re gonna get what you’ve always gotten.” So, we need to change how we’ve been approaching our love life if we want to generate more desirable effects.
Now that we’re clear about the desire to change things up by transforming what we have done before, we can move on to determining the specifics. Here’s the bottom line, each of us needs to figure out what it is that we need to work on, ie what patterns, default behaviors, thoughts, and energy we need to transform. For example, I am often asked by women, “Should I text the guy after the date or wait for him to contact me?” The response to this question requires introspection on your part. If your pattern is typically to text immediately with effusive thank yous and compliments, then your work might be to hold off until the next day or until he contacts you. In this way, you are working to transform the energy that you are conveying, which is often more important than the exact timing of the text. So now your energy is becoming more confident and independent as opposed to overeager. If your pattern is to be “stand-offish” and the guy may not know that you’re interested, then your work might be to send a quick text that reflects some warmth. Now your energy is becoming more open to connection and intimacy rather than disinterest.
So, secret revealed. There is a completely different recipe for how each of us can improve our dating success. We need to tune into our inner wisdom, be honest with ourselves and identify those patterns. When we are each conscious of the individual personal growth that is required for our unique journey, we can change what we’ve always done, so we don’t get what we’ve always gotten, when what we really want is a completely different result. What step will you take towards transforming your patterns today?
Contact Coach Heidi at https://reinventionlifecoaching.com/ for a complimentary consultation to begin creating an individualized plan to transform your specific patterns that are getting in the way of the love that you desire in your life.